Neurodiverse Couples Therapy

Are You Struggling To See Eye-To-Eye In Your Relationship?

Do you or your partner have Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Autism Spectrum (ASD) or another form of neurodivergence that impacts your daily life and relationship? Are communication setbacks or challenges in emotional reciprocity causing you to feel disconnected from your partner?

If you’re neurodivergent, you may have difficulty identifying and expressing your emotions. It’s possible that you’re regularly preoccupied, anxious, or incapable of remaining present with others. Or perhaps you’re prone to rigid thinking patterns that make it hard for you to understand your partner’s perspectives.

Because you have trouble reading and interpreting the emotions of others, your partner may complain that you don’t understand or validate their needs. Maybe it’s difficult for you to comprehend the experience they’re having within the relationship. Alternatively, you may struggle to set boundaries or advocate for yourself in a way that your partner can effectively respond to.

Neurotypical Partners Can Feel Alienated By Neurodivergent Behaviors

As the neurotypical partner of someone with Autism Spectrum and/or ADHD you may feel as though your needs are not getting met. Because the two of you differ in the ways that you experience and express emotions, you might feel like there is a fundamental division within the relationship. You too could be struggling to convey boundaries and needs to a partner who views your environment and relationship from an entirely different perspective. 

But finding harmony with your partner is possible. By working with a clinician who specializes in counseling neurodiverse couples, therapy can help your relationship thrive.

Neurodiverse Partnerships Have To Contend With Unique Obstacles

With continued research and awareness, we are finding that neurodivergence is increasingly common—especially in adults whose condition may have been overlooked in childhood. This means that more and more individuals and couples are faced with obstacles that come with being neurodiverse in a neurotypical world.

Many combinations of neurodivergent and neurotypical couples exist, with one or both partners adapting to life with Autism and/or ADHD. Also, neurodivergent conditions are often co-occurring with one or more mental health challenges, such as anxiety, OCD, depression, and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

This can put further strain on a couple as one or both partners not only experience emotional distress but also have to navigate how autism and ADHD, impact their relationship. In partnerships where one or both individuals are autistic or otherwise neurodiverse, couples often struggle to communicate, create boundaries, and reciprocate emotions.

Specialized Marriage And Relationship Counseling Is Important For Neurodiverse Couples

Therapy offers a great opportunity for all couples to come together and resolve issues from a united front. However, it’s important that couples involved in neurodiverse partnerships work with a clinician who understands the particular marriage and relationship problems faced by those living with Autism Spectrum ADHD, and other forms of neurodivergence.

Because each autistic or otherwise neurodivergent individual is unique, working with a couples therapist that embraces and celebrates the exceptional qualities of the relationship—and the individuals in it—is essential.

At Spectrum Connections Therapy, we specialize in counseling neurodiverse individuals and couples. Working with a therapist who affirms your identity can help you develop new skills and perspectives within the relationship.

Neurodiverse Couples Therapy Offers Clarity, Skills-Building, And Perspective

In combining aspects of traditional marriage counseling with identity-affirming relational elements, counseling at Spectrum Connections individualizes the therapeutic process for each of our neurodiverse couples. We will work with both of you to find and assert your voice in the relationship so that you can grow together.

Our approach is comprehensive and seeks to understand your unique relationship strengths and dynamics. Neurodiverse couples therapy may include psychoeducation that will help you see how Autism Spectrum and/or ADHD impacts the relationship, as well as vital emotional, relational, and communication skills to help you reconnect with your significant others.

We cultivate a safe, open therapeutic space where both of you can gain meaningful insight into your relationship and one another. And while one of the goals of therapy will be to help the neurodivergent partner feel seen and supported within the partnership, we will also spend time working on the neurotypical partner’s objectives for counseling.

Why The Gottman Method Is Useful For Couples Where One Or Both Partners Is Autistic

Our approach to neurodiverse couples therapy incorporates elements of The Gottman Method, a therapeutic technique specifically designed for partnerships. Using this method, we will help you and your significant other find shared meaning in your experiences, improve verbal communication, enhance intimacy, and remove the barriers that create ongoing conflict.

We’ve found that The Gottman Method is particularly beneficial for our autistic couples because it is a skills-based therapy structured in nature. Since the time in counseling is spent building a relationship toolbox and completing communication-specific tasks, neurodivergent clients are likely to find that this therapeutic process better aligns with their unique experience of the world.

It’s possible to transform your relationship into a symbol of safety, understanding, and mutual support. With therapy for neurodiverse couples, you and your partner can cultivate the deep and lasting connection you desire. 

Maybe You’re Curious About Neurodiverse Couples Counseling, But You Still Have Questions…

There is no formal diagnosis for me/my partner, but many of our challenges align with those of neurodiverse partnerships. Can therapy help?

At Spectrum Connections Therapy, we don’t believe that neurodivergence is a disorder, nor do we pathologize signs and symptoms. Instead, we aim to embrace and celebrate the unique traits of our autistic and otherwise neurodivergent individual and couples clients.

If you suspect that your relationship challenges are related to issues of neurodivergence, couples therapy can help you cultivate mutual understanding, acceptance, and harmony.

What is the structure of neurodiverse couples therapy?

Typically, our couples sessions together will follow a 2-1-1-2 format. This means that your first session is together as a couple, followed by two individual sessions during which both of you will fill out a Gottman evaluation. After we review your assessments, you will reconvene as a couple in session to discuss your results and develop a plan for your remaining time in therapy. From there, the sessions will generally include both of you together moving forward.

How long will we be in counseling?

Neurodiverse couples therapy is a highly individualized process, which means that there is no set timeline for how long you will be in session. Your time spent in therapy will depend on what your couples assessment calls for, your goals, and the progress you make together. Some of our couples find that they feel satisfied with the process once their short-term goals have been met, while others prefer to stay in therapy to work on longer-term goals.

Neurodiverse Couples Therapy Blog Posts:

4 Tips to Improve Your Communication with Your ADHD Partner

It’s estimated that up to 5% of the adult population has ADHD. If you’re in a relationship with someone living with and managing their ADHD, you’ve likely experienced some of the unique challenges that can come from trying to communicate with them. People with ADHD tend to have trouble concentrating and focusing. They might not

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How to Find Success With Gottman Couples Therapy in a Neurodiverse Partnership

The Gottman method is highly trusted and effective in the world of couples therapy. It’s meant to break down communication barriers and improve intimacy and closeness between couples by helping to ensure there’s a high level of respect in the relationship. At Spectrum Connections Therapy, we find the Gottman Method to be particularly beneficial for those

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3 Tips for Success in Gottman Couples Therapy for Neurodivergent Partners

The Gottman method is designed to help couples build intimacy by boosting respect and breaking down communication barriers. Most people understand the importance of healthy communication in a relationship but aren’t sure what it looks like.  In a neurodivergent intimate partnership, this is the main concern that brings couples to therapy, that both partners are

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The Benefits of Neurodiverse Couples Therapy

Curious about how neurodiverse couples therapy can help you and your intimate partner? Neurodiversity is becoming more widely understood across the world. While most people associate it with autism, there are a variety of conditions that can make someone neurodivergent. It simply means that their brain works differently than what is considered neurotypical. Neurodivergent people

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So…What is Cassandra Syndrome, Anyway?

You may have heard of Cassandra Syndrome, or maybe you have not. As the neurotypical partner in a neurodivergent intimate partnership, you are likely trying to better explain your emotional experience in your relationship with your partner who may have autism and/or ADHD. More often than not, your neurodivergent partner may not even be aware

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Navigating the Holidays When You Don’t Like the In-Laws

Not liking your in-laws might be an old stereotype, but for some people, it’s a very true reality. As the old saying goes, when you marry someone, you marry their whole family. It might not always feel that way, but it certainly can during the holiday season. It’s the time of year when families get

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Both Of You Can Feel Seen And Understood In Your Relationship

If you and/or your partner have Autism Spectrum, ADHD, or another form of neurodivergence, neurodiverse couples therapy can help you build skills and find common ground in the relationship.

Please reach out to schedule your FREE 20-minute phone consultation to learn more about how we can be of support.

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